So I named the last post "after thought part 1", intending to write more later... I have been racking my brain trying to remember what it was I was planning to post. This may be the first post where I am completely making it up as I go, with no real plan. The one thing that has kept coming to my mind that I have been wanting to share is this:
Yes, it hurt. But that's OKAY! There are worse things in life than physical pain.
And, yes, I suppose there are worse things than putting your baby and yourself at risk of serious medical complications by simply (and naively) doing everything the doctors and nurses suggest. That comment was more for me than you, by the way, as I really do need to keep telling myself it is okay that not everyone chooses natural birth. It is kind of crazy how passionate I am about the whole thing. How difficult it is for me to hear stories about c-sections and being induced. How I literally feel sick to my stomach hearing about someone mention they got an epidural without even attempting it without. I kind of wonder, like, why do I care so much? I know I am being way too real now, but really, why does it bother me so much that some lady I don't even know got an epidural simply because she was bored and uncomfortable sitting in the hospital bed. Why am I really, really hoping my dear friend in Payson can pull off a VBAC and not get a repeat cesarean and another one in SLC can get the home birth she wants. I guess it would have to be one of two things. Either I want everyone to attempt natural birth to prove me right and to be like me (although, of course, I have always been the type that rather likes being the one-of-a-kind oddball - and of course just because everyone does something does not make it right) OR because I really, really do feel like more women should be attempting natural birth, that women are much more capable than they realize and that women are robbing themselves of amazing, life-changing experiences. In other words, I want to tell everyone what I wish someone would have told me before I had cowboy. No, this whole thing is not about regret. Cowboy's birth is over, he is four year's old now and perfectly healthy. And it really doesn't even bother me a ton how his birth went (anymore). But I guess it comes down to the choice between good and great, or between tolerable and empowering.
Back to the "what I wish someone would have told me": I think if someone would have said "You should have a natural birth for the health of yourself and your baby" I don't think it would have done a thing. It wouldn't have been enough. After all, I did walk into that hospital with baby number one intending to "try it without the epidural", but of course gave in after a few minutes of pain. Probably what I needed to hear was "You CAN have a natural birth and it will be the best thing for you and your baby".
So this is what I have been wanting to tell all of you: YOU CAN DO IT! You can give it your whole-hearted best shot. If in the end that turns out to be 16 hours of intense labor followed by an epidural, then good for you for that 16 hours, that is an amazing gift to your baby that you will be glad you gave him. If it means waiting just one more day (or even two more weeks) as a humongous, horribly uncomfortable 9 months pregnant ornery mom until you go into labor naturally instead of getting induced, then that is exactly the time your baby needed to prepare for one of the hardest events of their life. You are telling them "It's up to you, my child. Your being fully ready is more important to me than my comfort or schedule".
So, read, study, research your options because it IS a big deal. Your babies are a big deal and it is worth the effort - you need to know what you are really risking here. Do the best you can... and then some, because the best you can is WAY more than you can imagine.
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