After thoughts part 1

Little Johnny Cash is one month old today.

Most of the reason I chose to give birth at home was to insure having a completely natural birth. At this point I believe nearly the only ways to have a natural birth are to either have a home birth or have a doula. If I had thought it certain for me to have a natural birth in the hospital (again), I would have birthed in the hospital. But I didn't think I could do it. I know myself to not be good at saying no - thought it would be too easy for the doctor/nurses to talk me into Pitocin, breaking water, etc. I also thought it would be hard for me to resist the epidural offer every ten minutes with it being 'right around the corner'. (Though, yes, of course I know how dangerous and bad for the baby and mom the epidural is, but wasn't sure how my reasoning would change in the heat of labor).
So the funny thing is that I never once desired an epidural. By the time I was in basically "unbearable" pain I was pushing - or maybe it is better to say that the pushing is what caused the unbearable pain. So the epidural wouldn't have helped anyway.
And also, surprisingly, the most awesome part about the birth turned out to be the location: Home. It really was SO nice to be home. I am not sure why I hadn't expected that. Before I would've gone to a birth center had there been any within a half hour of here, but that wasn't an option. Now, even if I did live next door to a birthing center, I would totally choose a home birth again. I think a lot of it had to do with how comfortable hubby was. It is hard to imagine him being that attentive and right by my side the whole time had we been in a hospital. One of my favorite parts of the labor was that first hour or so, that otherwise would have been spent driving to, checking in, and settling into the hospital. It was just Hubby and I and that was a simple, quiet, excited time - where I knew "this is it", but we just got to be together and relax. He was also just as comfortable with the midwife and her assistant as I was so that he still hugged and massaged and did whatever I needed him to do without hesitancy. (Plus the midwife really knew what she was doing and could show him how).