Hands down the hardest thing I have ever done. I will describe birth one, Cowboy's, as being a whole lot of work, but no pain and the second birth, Lady's, as a whole lot of pain, but no work. Well, double the amount of work exerted at Cowboy's birth and double the amount of pain experienced at Lady's birth, and then add a little more of each and that is about how this birth went. I am writing this as soon after the birth as possible since the 'bad' memories fade so quickly and I have already gone from thinking "I will never have children again" to "Well, maybe one more...in at least three years". And now that I have this gorgeous little boy in my arms and he is so perfectly healthy and I am recovering so quickly, I am already thinking "it was totally worth it".
Ok, from the start. On September 5th (this being significant for several reasons: was his actual due date, was 'labor' day, and is the 5th day of the month, which makes everyone in our family either born on the 5th day of the month or during the 5th month/May) - anyway, on this day, I woke up about 2am with contractions that actually had a little kick to them, unlike the painless ones I had been feeling for the last 7 weeks off and on. And these were about 5 to 10 minutes apart and were not going away. I woke up hubby around 3a.m. and said "I am going to call the midwife". He got up and started sterilizing the bathroom and bedroom and going cleaning crazy :). I called the midwife and left her a message, figured I would call her again in a half hour or so, if she didn't call back. She has never not answered her phone before. She called back about 4a.m. and got here by 4:30, having been at another birth all night and was coming strait from it. When her assistant got here around 5:00 we made her go take a nap. My contractions were getting pretty intense and more like 3 to 5 minutes apart. Hubby was totally awesome and rubbing my lower back exactly right so that the contractions were totally bearable. Both midwives helped a ton, too. Around 7:00 they were pretty bad so I tried the shower, which was amazing and made those contractions totally bearable - though it may have worked a little too well because the contractions seemed to lessen in intensity and get farther apart.
Well, the midwife told me I needed to try pushing a little with each contraction and that is when things got really, really hard for me. That hurt like crazy and took a whole lot of effort. I could only think of one contraction at a time. It was really frustrating because I didn't feel like the pushing was doing anything and wasn't even sure why I had to push then anyway. With Lady I only had to push twice and she came right out - I did have to push for an hour and half with Cowboy, but had blamed that on the Epidural and his ginormous head. One thing I had really not wanted to do became inevitable - she had to break my water. The baby was not moving down at all. I had my water broken with my other two children and she explained that our bodies have a memory and perhaps my body was not going to get back a certain point until my water was broken. (and it was actually pretty difficult for her to rupture it, so I guess my bag is made of neoprene or something :). Well I kept nudging this baby down for the next hour or two, it seemed like one microscopic increment at a time. Finally after pushing harder than I am sure is physically possible and it felt like my head was going to pop off, his head came out and that was the biggest relief of my life and hubby said "I can see his head! I can see his two little eyes!" and then out came the rest of the baby. I was kneeling on the bed. I really wanted to hold him and could tell right away that it was a boy. But it took a little maneuvering to get around to sitting so I could hold him.
My mom was in the next room with the kids and said as soon as they heard the baby crying she couldn't hold them back any longer and they burst in the room to meet their new little brother. It was Cowboy's job to tell everyone whether it was a boy or a girl, so hubby said "come in and tell us if it's a boy or a girl" and before he even got to the baby, he said, "It's Johnny Cash" in such a matter-of-fact way, like, "duh! That is what I have been telling you the whole time, that it's a boy". They were so cute and so in awe of this brand new baby, so euphoric. Hubby was on the verge of tears. I was relieved beyond reason, and so, so happy to hold this little baby. He was so perfect and precious and sweet and special...and still is :)
The placenta came out and we left the cord attached until it stopped pulsing, maybe 15 minutes or so. A lot of people keep it or bury it or even eat it, but I decided against those so the midwives just took care of it. I tore a little and the midwife proficiently sewed me up. I also finally researched circumcision and have decided that it is a completely unnecessary medical procedure, comparable to plastic surgery. So this lucky little guy won't have to have a horrid painful operation to welcome him the day after he enters this world. He ate right away. I got to hold him and hold him and hold him some more. Eventually we weighed him at 8 pounds 13 ounces and 21 and 3/4 inches long!
It was so great to be right at home during the whole labor and afterwards when my whole family just got to soak up this little angel strait from Heaven. It was really awesome. A really special time.
Welcome 'Johnny Cash'! I love you so much!
My poor midwife got a call from another lady in labor and off to her third birth in a row she went. She and her assistant were both totally awesome. I never felt nervous about anything going wrong and felt like I was in much more capable, and more familiar, hands than at either other birth.
